Facebook post about 'HOW TO DRIVE IN MEMPHIS' goes viral

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Driving in Memphis can often be an adventure, and one man's chronicle of Bluff City roadways is making waves on social media.

Bubba Jones took to his Facebook page Monday, June 4 to write about Memphis driving and drivers. Jones laid out 12 different ways of 'how to drive in Memphis.'

HOW TO DRIVE IN MEMPHIS: 1. Learn how to pronounce the city's name. It's MEM-fuss. 2. The morning rush hour is from...

Posted by Bubba Jones on Monday, June 4, 2018

How do you think Memphians pronounce Memphis? Well, according to Jones, you pronounce it as "MEM-fuss."

That was point number one.

The second one is in reference to rush hour traffic throughout our city. Jones stated the morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. -- and Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

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The third point is about speed limits -- or speeding -- on I-240, I-40 and I-55. It reads:

"The minimum acceptable speed on I-240 is 80 mph. On I-40 and I-55, get into the right lane if you're only going to go ten miles over the posted speed limit. Better yet, get off the interstate and go down Poplar."

The rest of the list can be read below:

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Memphis has its own version of traffic rules. For example, BMWs and Jaguars owned by Memphis Grizzlies go first at a four-way stop. Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go second. The trucks with the biggest tires go third. The HOV lanes are really designed just for the slow Arkansans passing through who are used to hogging the left lane everywhere.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light or stop sign, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. Unless there is a police car nearby.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. Generally, city roads, including the main streets, have more potholes than most dirt roads in the countryside.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, possums, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, furniture, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, and crows.

9. Be aware that there is a huge difference between North Parkway East, East Parkway, East Parkway South, South Parkway, and South Parkway West. Do not be surprised when these streets intersect.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally activated”.

11. If you drive south from Shady Grove Road, you will end up on Ridgeway Road without making any turns. If you continue south you will eventually be on Hickory Hill Blvd., again without making any turns. However, Ridgeway Road will be parallel to you about a mile to the east.

12. Downtown Memphis is comprised of mostly one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Memphis is to turn around and start over when you reach Arkansas or Mississippi.